Comments on: When Empathy moves us to Action-By Daniel Goleman

By: Ken Abrahams

Ken Abrahams — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:36:58 +0000

Perhaps it is more about working “in the transference”. Showing ones feelings with clients has very good results in some situations. Trauma debriefing may not be one of those situations. Longer term styles of counselling work can utilize “compassionate empathy” for very good results.

Ken

By: Laurie

Laurie — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 11:51:50 +0000

Fascinating article. I agree that it takes a stronger emotion like anger to move us to act, but I believe that, generally, the majority of us weren’t taught what is “constructive anger” and how to use our anger in a beneficial way. We’re taught not to be angry and how to subdue it, not how to align it with empathy for the benefit of others. What a different world we would live in if this were the case.

By: Alvaro

Alvaro — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 07:35:33 +0000

Elisha, I havenÂ´t read that book but thatÂ´s a beautiful point. The problem is not Anger itself but letting it build inside us and lead us to negative mindsets and actions. We can learn to take it into account and let it go.

Mike: how do you facilitate that learning in your clients?

By: Mike Kirkeberg

Mike Kirkeberg — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 11:45:26 +0000

I agree with Elisha. The body of my work is with people whose angry mind gets the better of them. When I tell them that anger is not the problem, they are often aghast for a few sessions. For most people (in general), I think anger and aggression or hostility are synonomous. We sometimes live in a hostile society, and if we are waiting for the anger to go away so that people will be less hostile, we are going to have a long wait.

By: Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 18:14:45 +0000

I have been thinking of the benefits of anger for quite some time. Many therapists in the field of Psychology encourage getting in touch with anger with many patients. However, it gets confusing when we read many eastern traditions judging anger as a negative thing. . â€œ….. It is anger – “anger” …all consuming and most evil. Know this to be the enemy here on earth.â€ –Bhagavad Gita (chapter 3, verse 37).

I think there is a confusion here between Anger and Aggression or hostility. One is simply an emotion that comes and goes, the other seems more like a behavioral or emotional attack.

I think Goleman is correct, Anger can be held mindfully, and used to help us be aware when something is being wronged and action needs to be taken to stand up for its survival.

There is a way to express assertiveness when feeling anger. But, first we need to be aware of the anger so we can choose to be less reactive and more responsive in the most skillful and compassionate way.

Thich Nhat Hanh does a beautiful job in his book “Anger” describing how to cultivate compassionate empathy in the face of anger.